Oh Chicago- You Make Me Laugh

All I could do was laugh. My situation was so unfortunate that was all I could do. I worked hard to get to the point where I was at the this moment. Sitting on the floor of Union Station eating my crackers that were pretty well all but crumbs just taking in the lovely aroma that reminded me of pee but I tried to convince myself that it was something different to make my floor position more comfortable.

I was proud of how far I had come. Which in your mind right now you may not agree with me. Lets back up to where I was before.

My ability to travel to Michigan was a miracle in itself. Part of that included me getting reasonable tickets to fly into Chicago. The plan was to fly into Chicago and take the train to Grand Rapids, Michigan. Easy enough. I was so excited to be traveling by myself. I felt so empowered.

Once I got off the place in Chicago I was under the impression that the train left right from the airport. Unfortunately, I could not find that location because it did not exist. I was guided to the Blue Line Transit and instructed to get off at the Clinton stop and then the Union Station would be where I would find the train. Then I would board the 6:30 train and be in Michigan in no time. -Sounded easy enough.

Once I was on the Blue Line I realized just how far away the Clinton stop was and how slowly we were moving in that direction. Panic began to set in because I became fully aware that I would not be on the 6:30 train to Michigan, the LAST train to Michigan for the night.

I had two choices

1-Freak out, Imagine the worst what if's (Which included me sleeping on the streets of Chicago) 

2-Remain calm and know everything was going to work out.

The fact was, I was going to miss the train regardless. That was out of my control. Therefore I went with option number two. REMAIN CALM! Well, that option seemed easy to choose until I attempted to search out another route to Michigan and discovered my phone was not going to be my faithful companion for too much longer. All my travels had drained the battery. Option one began to set in and I had to remind myself I already chose option 1. REMAIN CALM! I was praying with all I was worth. 

I decided I would still get off at Clinton find a place to charge my phone and then I would go from there.Thank heavens for friends who are so willing to assist me. I had people in Michigan searching out other forms of transportation.

I have never felt more unsure of myself in my life than when I got off at the Clinton stop. I was guided up some stairs that took me to the streets of downtown Chicago. The small town Idaho girl in me was able to lose it. I have never felt so small and insignificant. There is a much larger world out there than I previously could imagine. I froze. I just stood there completely unsure of what to do. Nothing was familiar, I had no idea which way to go, or where to even begin. 

I was reminded of a friend who just returned from serving his mission in Chicago and I texted him asking for help. I was grasping for straws, My GPS was not working due to my low battery and it is just janki anyway. Over a few text messages and a short phone call he was able to guide me to the Union Station. I knew God was definitely watching over me.

As I walked in the rain with my luggage I knew I stood out. As I was walking I just started laughing which I am sure encouraged even more weird looks in my direction. I never imagined myself in a situation like this EVER! I was so lost and still unsure of what my night held. I did know that it included several people asking me for money. Everyone seemed to be $6 short that night.

My experience in Chicago gave me so much sympathy for those who are homeless. I realized how much I had taken for granted. Shelter, bathroom, water, food, phone. All of those things I lost access to for a short time. I can't imagine living like that day after day unsure of where you will be the next day. 

I was still laughing to myself once I got inside the Union Station partly because if I didn't laugh through it I would have cried. I don't think as clearly when I cry so I chose to look at it all as a humorous event. I knew it would pass I just had to keep moving forward.

There were several kind people who helped me along the way. Miss Ray helped me find the bus I needed to get on. It left at about 11 PM and arrived in Kalamazoo Michigan around 3 AM. She clearly knew I was not in my element. She looked at me very concerned and said, "Honey, do you have someone who will be picking you up at 3 AM?" I attempted to ease her worry and let her know that I would. She responded, "You better and if they ain't there Miss Ray is gonna come get them." I felt more at peace knowing Miss Ray had my back. She was so kind and helpful.

This brings me back to this point. Relaxing on the floor, out of the rain enjoying the sweet aroma of pee eating my crackers. I was so at peace and so grateful for the experience I just had.

My faith had been tested. I knew that this trip was one I was suppose to take. I know everything happens for a reason and it if doesn't look for a reason it was suppose to happen. I found several reasons.

I grew so much. I learned to trust myself more and let the Spirit guide in all situations. I was clueless and the only one who knew anything that was with me was the Holy Ghost. I am so grateful for the gift of the Spirit. I know I will always I be okay if I follow those promptings. 

I also learned that I CAN DO HARD THINGS! I can take care of myself and I am capable of reaching my goals. God has created an incredible world and there is so much out there to be discovered and learned. 

If you want to do something DO IT! Tomorrow never comes. Live in the now. Stop creating excuses as to why you can't do something. Kick out the limiting beliefs of "What if such and such something bad happens?" Insert "WHAT IF SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENS!" It is all about the law of attraction. What you put out in life is what you get back. 

This is my story. I am in control of what happens in my life. And you are in control of what happens in yours. Don't just survive, THRIVE! There is a beautiful world out there waiting to be explored and a life waiting to be created! 

Stepping out of Klurisa Land!

Two years ago I embarked on a journey that has forever changed who I am. In the beginning I felt a lot like Laman and Lemuel saying that God had asked a hard thing of me. If there is one thing that I learned in Michigan it is that I CAN DO HARD THINGS!

A mission was not what I expected at all. In fact I really had no clue what mission all entailed. The one thing that I did know was that Missionaries got fed. As you can see through my pictures I got fed REALLY well! I was really just trying to measure my spiritual growth and I wanted something I could physically see. Haha

A mission is so much more than the dinner appointments and the weird food stories. It sounds selfish to say that my mission was about me but it is true. No matter how much I feel like I contributed to Michigan I got so much more out of my service to the Lord than I was ever able to give to anyone else.

God taught me who I am. He did that by allowing me to help others see who they are. One of my favorite parts of being a missionary was the amount of love I was able to feel for complete strangers! I could knock on a door of someone who lived in very humble circumstances and little going on in their lives or I could knock on a door of a mansion of someone who felt they had it all- and I would feel an overwhelming amount of love for them. No matter where people were at in life I knew that God loved them. I could feel it. As I would teach them the Spirit would confirm to me that they are children of God and He desperately wants them to be happy and return to live with Him again.

As I learned who I am my thoughts and actions changed. My desire to live in alignment with God's will increased. I learned how to communicate with my Father in Heaven and to urgently follow promptings. I yearned for a deeper connection with the Spirit. I knew that obedience to God's commandments was where it started, I often heard that there were three reasons people were obedient.
1-Fear

2-Duty
3-Love

It was a process for me to be obedient out of love. I went through all three of these phases and thank heavens for my wonderful companions who were so patient with me as I was learning and growing. I felt a day and night difference as I began to be obedient because I loved the Lord not because I was fearful of what might happen if I was not obedient or because I had to due to the name tag that I had taken upon my self. It didn't happen over night. It is still something I am improving on every day. I have had to learn to rely on the Savior and his grace to help me as I strive to become more like Him. I had to take the focus off of ME! I was no longer in Klurisa Land! I was in the Lords Land! And in His land there is no time for selfishness. 

Because I know who I am I served. God showed me what I had and I knew I had to share it. The Gospel has changed my life. It brings me purpose, understanding, and allows me to live more abundantly. This is why I LOVED my mission. I got to share what is most precious to me with so many wonderful people who have left such a positive impact on my life. I will forever remember these people and the memories I was able to make with them. They were each a piece of the puzzle that made up my mission. Each piece is valued and essential in creating the big picture of the wonderful 18 months I was able to spend in, the Lords Land, My Sacred Grove.

I CAN do hard things. That is because God is real. He is my Heavenly Father. He is aware of me and He knows me personally and He loves me. I can do hard things because I have a Savior who suffered for me and knows how to help me overcome my sins and weaknesses.

I can do hard things because I have a Heavenly family, an Earthly family, a mission, and a ward family who are always there cheering me on and helping me all along the way.

I know this church is true. That is something I cannot deny. I have watched the gospel work in so many people's lives and in my own life. I know that the Book of Mormon is inspired of God. As I have read it my love for it increases. It is what has helped my testimony to grow and to understand more of the nature of God and where I fit into His plan. I know that Joseph Smith is the prophet of the Restoration. He did see God and Jesus Christ. This knowledge came from diligent scripture study and teaching others what I know. Through this process the Spirit was able to testify of truth to me.

 I am so grateful for my mission and all that I was able to learn in Michigan. I cannot believe it was two years ago that I entered the MTC. I could never imagine in that moment the amount of good I was doing for myself and my family. My mission changed me. It saved my life!

One Month

Two Months

Three Months

Four Months

Five Months

Six Months

Seven Months

Eight Months

Nine Months

Ten Months

Eleven Months

ONE YEAR

Thirteen Months

Fourteen Months

Fifteen Months

Sweet Sixteen 

Seventeen Months

                                         

Eighteen Months

God is SO Nice!!

On my mission my companion and I would talk about how nice God is. Everyday He would display a simple act to show us that He knows us personally and that He is very aware of us. As I began to recognize these acts more and more I became excited each morning to see what the day would hold.

Learning to recognize God's hand helped me so much in Michigan but it has also been a blessing to me here in Idaho. It is so important to know that God is with us EVERYWHERE. Not just in a physical place but where we are personally. He loves us when we are doing well and when we are struggling. No matter where we are He is always going to be there.

Recently, I was reminded of this simple truth.

There are some days where I would give anything to go back to Michigan and be a missionary again. I loved it so much! Although, my mission was so much more than I would have ever dreamed of that is no longer where I am suppose to be. One of the hardest things I was ever told was that I was no longer needed in Michigan. In my last interview with my Mission President he told me that I had served my time in Michigan and that it was time to go home. This about killed me.

Heavenly Father is still very aware of me even though I am no longer a missionary. He still sends me reminders that He is there and everything is going to be okay. The way he reminds me is so personal to me. There is no one who knows me better than my Father in Heaven and my Savior.

Lately, there have been people from Michigan coming into my work. I am always surprised to find people from Michigan in Idaho. WHAT?? They come at the perfect time too. There was a specific experience that I have no doubt God had his hand in.

My coworker was checking a lady out and she looked over at me and said "Klurisa, this lady is from Michigan." Sure enough she was decked out head to toe in Spartan gear. All the signs were there. We bonded over our love for MSU and instantly became friends. She did not hesitate to tell me that she was Catholic and she wasn't sure why she even came into a Mormon bookstore. It was nothing short of a miracle. It was a friendship that was in need of being created!

I do not believe in coincidences. All things happen for a reason.

God is light! Whenever the simplest of thing brings happiness into my life I know it is God. I know it is His way of showing He loves me and that He is still there. I know He will never leave me. He is always seeking for ways to manifest His love to His children. It is then our choice to decide if we will recognize it as such.

The more I attribute these acts to God the happier I am. No matter who you are it always feels good to be remembered and to be loved. Each time I witness a miracle I am touched to know that God was thinking of me in that moment. To know that He is interested in me and my life and He cares about me. He is my Father in Heaven and He loves me.

I think of it like a lighthouse. His love is always there but how we live determines how far or close we may be to that light.  Our perspective changes according to how far or close we are. The goal is to always keep God close and keep that eternal perspective.

God's love is unconditional. My mission taught me how much God loves His children. This changed me life. If there was one thing I could tell everyone it is that God loves you. He is there. No matter where you are in life. Whether you are close to the light or far from it. It doesn't matter. He still loves you and if you will look you will be able to see that love manifest in your life. Let God love you!