Faith is something I struggle with when change comes my way. I can't always see the eternal blessings or what my Father in Heaven has in mind for me. Right before Skyler left for his mission he asked me to look up Christ Like Attributes in Preach My Gospel. In the end it said to pick an attribute to work on. I chose faith.
At this point in my life I was not set on serving a mission. The thought was always in the back of my mind but I was not sure that was what I wanted to do. I had others plans in mind that were more appealing because they were comfortable, and in a sense easy. I think Heavenly Father saw that word "easy" in my mind and was like "Oh no no no, you will not grow from easy."
So... this happened. Heavenly Father changed my plans completely. He called this amazing guy to Tegucigalpa, Honduras for 2 years. He was so excited to go to a foreign country, learn Spanish, be in a warm area, and serve the Lord the best that he can. That is faith. I have tried learning Spanish before and I am here to tell you that a task like that is no piece of cake or a walk in the park. He knew that is where he was suppose to go and he knew that He would have help beyond measure to fulfill this call the Lord had extended to him. Faith!
So then this happened...
I was called to serve the Lord in Lansing, Michigan for 18 months.
This is where my faith was tested to the extreme. I am here to tell you that when Satan see's that you are doing something good he wants to stop you. That is real. I have experienced this at a level I never have before. He has tried talking me out of going so many times.
"You are not strong enough."
"You can't do this."
"You are going to miss out on so much."
Guess what? He is right. I am not strong enough, I can't do it, and I will miss out on a lot... but with God I am strong enough and I can do anything with Him. I can do hard things with God. I will not be serving a mission with my strength a lone. My Father in Heaven knows my weaknesses and he is going to help me turn them into strengths. He will be by my side at all times. I had to realize that Satan is trying to stop me from stopping him. For the longest time my little brother would sing his own version of "I hope they Call me on a Mission." It was so cute!
I hope they call me on a mission
So I can fly with Santa Clause
And I would go and beat up Satan
Haha isn't that adorable? There is truth there. As we serve missions we are kind of beating Satan up. We are limiting his power which I'm sure hurts his pride which in a sense is a form of you may say "beating him up." Haha I know I stretched that a little.
My point is, I have had a trial of my faith. I felt guilty for questioning and doubting. There was no reason to feel that way though. It was not a sin. It was a chance for me to grow. This is a new beginning for me and a chance to become what God asks of me, I am not 100% but that is okay. I have a lifetime to work on my faith. There are incredible people who I love and admire who are on missions that are helping me more than they know. Just their example faith strengthens me. They are constantly encouraging me and building me up.
Change is hard but it opens up so many doors for growth. As long as we have faith and allow God to be apart of all aspects of our lives the blessings will come. Change will not be "easy" but it will be easier than if we shut him out. He knows exactly what we are going through. We are not expected to walk through life alone. I have learned that the hard way a couple of times. Take my word, IT IS NOT FUN! Let him help you.
